1. Generally, women look after the home and men go out to Work and look after the women. However, in today's society, when It is often essential for a wife to work outside to help support the family, shouldn't a man also do his share of the housework? I know a lot of Muslim women who work and then face household chores whereas their husbands come home and then go off to study circles and so on. The women do not get the chance to study and the husbands are the first to complain if they get no share of their wife's income and if the house is not clean and tidy. What Is your advice? Please do not say, "Give up working outside the home" because we need the money.
The Islamic attitude is this: even if the woman is not working, is she under any obligation to do the housework or not? Look at the concept of marriage, at the marriage contract; the Fuqaha - legalists - define this contract as Aqdu Istimtaa' - an agreement allowing all parties to enjoy themselves in that intimate relationship. It is not an agreement of servitude or anything like that. So when it comes to the legality and everyone says 'where are my rights', this contract relieves the woman from cleaning or doing anything like that. In the words of Ibn Hazm, one of the great literalist scholars, it is the duty of the husband to bring the food ready-cooked to his wife. And the Fuqaha generally say that if the woman is one of those who are used to being served - upper class - it is the duty of the husband to provide her with a servant to look after him.
However, it is said that good manners require a woman to look after what is inside the house, and the man to look after what is outside, common courtesy dictates that the husband lend the wife a hand. This was the ruling of the Prophet (upon whom be blessings and peace) when he ruled on Fatimah and Ali (may Allah be pleased with them both). When Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked about the manner of the Prophet (upon whom be blessings and peace) at home, she said he used to be involved in the work of his family; he would repair his clothes and shoes, look after his bed and so on. Now, in the situation where a woman is working to earn a living, we are not saying that the husband should necessarily look after the house, but good manners say she should help in the home and share the duties. This is what I do and what the Prophet (upon whom be blessings and peace) did. It is the husband's duty to care for his family and home, not just sit in front of the television for hours on end while his wife does the cooking and looks after the children. This is simply unfair.
(111 - Family Relations 4)
2. During my three years at university, I have come to witness many changes in the behaviour of young Muslims. Of significance was the widespread acceptance by Muslim females of the hijab. Unfortunately, the enthusiasm of the younger generation is not reflected in the older. I have a friend who passionately would like to wear her hijab. Her obstacle is her parents. They refuse to allow her to fulfil this Islamic requirement as they see it as "fundamentalist". How would you advise her to appease her parents as well as to carry out her Islamic obligations?
What you have explained is sad. Unfortunately it is a phenomenon that seems to be recurring not only among British Muslims but throughout the Muslim world. Therefore it is important for us to try and understand the issues involved and to deal with them appropriately.
As a Muslim parent I am baffled by anyone who would deny the rights of a child to practise his or her Islamic duties. Fundamentally, the problem is the combination of both ignorance of the essence of Islam and deep insecurity about one's identity in a secular and hostile society. You will find that most people who would deny their children a visible Islamic identity, have false notions of what makes their secular society around them tick: normally such people are more worried and concerned about being "accepted" by their neighbours, work-mates, etc. than their own being or the Hereafter. These are the kind of people who would do anything to be like Jones next door: change their names hair and skin colour (if necessary) and even what Islam says just to please another human being. The daughter of a close friend of mine, a senior physician and Dean of the Faculty of Medicine in a leading hospital, has been pleading with her parents to allow her to wear to hijab, but to no avail. Her mother is determined that the girl remains bare headed. Most probably there is no room for a "hijabed" woman in the circles they move in. Wherever I go, more and more young women (particularly at universities) are taking up hijab. Yet so many parents are placing barriers and hurdles in their way. To be honest I cannot understand such belligerence and intolerance. Hijab, let me make this clear, is not a matter of 'either / or': it is an obligation and must be adhered to. Do these kind of parents question Allah's command that a Muslim woman must cover herself appropriately? If that is the case than I have nothing to say. My advise to your friend emphasises damage limitation to avoid constant rows at home. Tell her to obey her parents while in the house, but once she leaves to go to college she should waste no time and wear her scarf. Always remember the Hadith: "There should be no obedience to that which constitutes disobedience to Allah."
Whatever you do I pray your friend never abandons the hijab. May Allah help her in her struggle.
(39 - Parents 2)
3. I am thinking of setting up in business. One idea I have is to start an auction house where I could charge commission to sellers and buyers to make a profit. Is there anything in the Shari'ah to stop me doing this?
There is no prohibition in being a middle man or agent as long as there is no deception on your part or no over-valuation of the products you are selling. Apart from that, this is a type of Ijarah, that is, you are classified as someone who is working for other people. The Muslim Fuqaha' say that this is a permitted service for it is allowed to authorise an agent to work on your behalf.
(70 - Mua'malat 3)
