What the hell is going on? I thought Islam was the Truth and that
it had all the answers to all our problems. OK, so we're having a hard time convincing the
Kafirs of that - which isn't surprising, given the odds stacked against us and the
microscopic scale of our Iman. But looking round at the Muslim "community" (By
Their Fruits Shall Ye Know Them, And All That), I wonder what is the point of it all?
First of all, we have the non-leaders, most of whom are (a) totally irrelevant to me and my life, and b) at each other's throats most of the time. So whom am I supposed to believe anyway?
Most of them appear to be out to lunch, the others appear to be out of their trees. One or two have qualities I could respect, such as deep knowledge, but they're not offering me any practical guidance. The others are appointing themselves to a job for which they are not qualified, such as the shopkeeper I read of who is performing marriages! And there's the mosques, most of which I can't go into because I happen to be female. I obviously don't know how to behave, am incapable of learning and am generally useless, so I'm not allowed in. I also don't speak any of the "community languages", so I wouldn't feel very welcome even if I were a man.
I never get to hear any Friday Khutbahs, so I am denied this opportunity to learn anything else about my Deen. From what I hear, though, I'm not missing much anyway: the Khutbah is always translated into Gujerati/Bengali/Urdu, never English, and the Imams never address any important issues anyway.
I don't get to attend conferences or study circles either: there's never anyone to look after the children, so even if I went to such a gathering the junior contingent (including the husband-who seems to be knowledgeable and intelligent only in a public darsa but very subdued and unsharing at home) would reduce it to chaos. Of course, all I need to know anyway is how to pray, wear hijab and shut up. (Oh, a bit of know-how on how to hoover, cook, clean up the kitchen, & change the babies nappies, massage the husband's ego [and a few of his friends and relatives] is needed for basic survival).
Only Allah knows how many nights have I laid up in bed thinking: "Why did Allah give me a brain if I was not supposed to use it?"
And what about the favoured method of criticism among Muslims: if you don't like what someone has to say, don't bring a polite refutation of each point, just launch a full frontal personal smear campaign! And it's our self-appointed leaders who are doing most of the mud-slinging... some example they are to the rest of us!
And why don't we lift our heads out of the sand and do something about the real-life, messy problems that are assailing us: like the Fitnah-merchants and home-wreckers who are known of (yes, they wear hijab). Who is going to help the broken-hearted wives picked up the pieces? Who is going to sort out the "brothers" who obviously can't be such good Muslims as they once appeared to be?
And I am tired of the self-deluding propaganda. Yes, there is a large number of British women who are embracing Islam. But who bothers about the equally (or even more) numbers who run away from the "community"? And who keep tabs on how many of those who become Muslim continue to hold on to the faith -married to ignorant men interested only in "conquest" and, let's admit it, resident permits.
But most of all I am angry of the boys who run around squealing "Jihad! Jihad! Jihad". These silly billies make me mad. If they were so brave and committed they would go to Bosnia (or Chechen) and engage the Serbs (or the Russians). Instead the cowards prefer the relative safety of campus cafeterias where they have made a religion of hijab.
Brothers, if you realty wanted a live jihad, why don't you try something real Halal? Get married. Then you would know what being a "vicegerent" of Allah means and what having authority entails?
Better still why not try to learn the Qur'an and the Seerah rather than some trash political tract full of useless clichés and rhetoric. But then, I guess, boys will always be boys. What a pity.
Whenever I read about the life of the Prophet, upon whom be blessings and peace, and the Sahabi, I want to weep because I have to put up with Britain in the 1990's. Where did it all go wrong? Can Islam ever really work? Or is it like communism - good in theory but doomed to flounder on the rocks of human nature?
Now, don't misunderstand me. Yes, I still believe that there is no god except Allah and that Muhammad, upon whom be blessings and peace, is His Messenger. But as for everything else... will we ever have a real leader to show us the way forward as Muslims in Britain?
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