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Water Limericks

A limerick is a short five line humorous verse.  It is typically Irish and usually does not have any point to it . The humour is in the stupidity of it all.  ( For the benefit of  the Danish, German and French E-Mail Schools.)

There was a young man named John
And in his backyard was a pond
He went down to see it
And couldn't believe it
Cause there in the mud was a bomb!!!!!
 

There was a wee man called Mr Mc Muddle
He liked to play and dance in a puddle
He was rather nutty
And became quite muddy
And to say he's a pscho is subtle

I think it is safe to say
We have done enough work for today
It was tough at the start
But we've written our part
So now we'll just ask for our pay (what do you mean we don't get paid! I've
never
worked this hard in my life!)

By Naoimh O'Hare and Georgina Mulligan
 
 

                 ODE TO WATER
 

THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER

Itsy  Bitsy Spider climbed up the spout one day,
Down came the rain and washed Poor Bitsy away,
Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain,
...and The Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the spout again!!
 

  MORAL:  Heat assists in the Evaporation of Water.
 
 

JACK AND JILL

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
 

MORAL: No longer does Jack and Jill go up the hill for they have taps at
home now.
 
 
 

# SINGING IN THE RAIN #

# We're singing in the rain, just singing in the rain,
what a glorious feeling, we're hap, hap, happy again. #
 

MORAL: Farmers are happy because water is vital for the growth of crops and
vegetation.
 

DR. FOSTER

Dr. Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of rain,
he stepped in a puddle right up to his middle
and never went there again.
 

MORAL: Water isn't always a pleasure in life. It can lead to floods and ruin
lives and homes, just
like Dr. Foster's trousers!!!!!
 
 
 
 

By:

Lisa and Leona.
 
 

Water  And Terms Especially Related:

First of all we will start by describing ways of
saving water.
1 Recycle your bath water
2 Why use taps when you have drainpipes?
3 Why use a surge of clean water to flush your
toilet when someone can apply a surge of ....
( dirty water!)
4 The tongue has a cleaning purpose - always lick
your plate.
5 Who needs a swimming pool when you have
puddles ( over-flowing pot-holes).

Water is a gift from God,
Clean, glistening and clear.
It also plays an important part,
In the manufacturing of beer.

DID YOU KNOW?
.......that baths form an integral part of  the social
life of every human being, not only do they provide
a means of cleansing they also create a friendly,
hot, steamy, location for one to enjoy the company
of.... their  rubber duck.
.......that I once thought rain was caused by God
urinating (It's me, Angela)
....that Maoiliosa thought God was crying ( how
naive!!!!!!)
....... that bath water used to be considered the
healthiest drink that one could take with their
mushy peas and spuds! (potatoes) (Ask Angela
she drinks a mug full everyday without fail - It's
good for the skin you know!!!)

 
        BY
   MAOILIOSA AND ANGELA.
      (Mo and Angie)
        XXX.
 
 

PRAISE THE RAIN

When water falls in the form of rain,
You will hear us moan and endlessly complain.
But do we ever stop and think
About the people who do not have a drop to drink.

We take it for granted our ample supplies,
But do we ever hear the poor countries cry?
A bucket of water, to them is a gift,
To us its just very awkard to lift.

So the next time you take a big soapy bath,
The next time you hear a person laugh,
Think of the people who do nothing but cry,
Due to the fact that their country is dry.

Spare a thought for the people in pain,
The next time you see a down pour of rain.
Praise the clouds for the rain that they bring,
And go outside and start to sing.( the last bit is not essential, I am just
finding it hard to make this poem
ryhme)

BY PATRICIA SAVAGE     (obviously lacking in talent)
 
 
 

POLLUTION

En ce qui concerne l'eau, les mers, les riveieres et quelquefois les lacs et
les etangs, la
pollution provient des residus domestiques, industriels et agricoles, ou des
dechets
deverses par les navires lors d'une catastrophe.  On a beaucoup parle de
'maree noire'
provoquee par des bateaux comme l'Amoco-Cadiz en 1978
 Meme si on note une amelioration depuis quelque annees due a une
reglementation
plus stricte de la navigation et a la multipilication des stations
d'epuration, plus de la
moitie des plages restent polluees.  Les poissons et les oiseaux souffrent
non seulement des
marees noires mais aussi des abus de la peche.
 En ce qui concerne la terre, on s'inquiete des pluies acides causees par les
combustions qui produisent des oxydes de soufre et d'azote et qui se
transforment en acide
sulfurique et nitrique, rongent les batiments, les materiaux et la
vegetation et font deperir
les forets comme celle des Vosges dans l'est de la France.
 
 Pollution has become one of the key environmental concerns but have any
actions
been taken to resolve the issue.  Here in Ireland we have smoke-free zones
in order to try
and cut down the amount of toxins in the air and as a result less acid rain
is formed.  There
is also legislation which prohibits the dumping of waste materials in water
ways which
helps our scenic rivers and lakes remain pollution free.  However we take
our beautiful
countryside for granted, we have no prominant Green Party to voice the key
environmental
problems and thus many damaging activites contiue to ruin it.  The future of
our rivers and
lakes depends on us, we must be water friendly and aware of the result of
our actions not
only on our immediate environment but on the world as a whole.

Laura Kavanagh
 
 

The Cycle Of Water Treatment.

 Water is essential for life, without it we would not survive.  So, why do
we take it for
granted?  Here in Ireland,  rain water falls from the skies on a regular
basis.  However,
when they go to turn the tap on, most people do not even think of how it
reaches their
homes.  Not to mention who is paying for it.
    All our are tap water begins as rain and as much as we complain about
the weather,
it is necessary as this flows in to the reservoirs.  So that we can
over-flush our toilets,
wash our cars and water our gardens.  Other sources of water come from
underground
stores which is often pumped out far faster than it is replenished.  It is
then sent to be
treated.  All sorts of things are added to help sterilise the water,
including chlorine and
copper sulphate.  After its long journey from the sky this valuable liquid
is distributed
to our homes and factories.
    However, it does not stop there, almost every litre of it is polluted
before it is
thrown away and so it becomes contaminated.  It is easy to pull a plug or
flush a toilet,
but getting rid of the waste is a lot more difficult.  Water leaves the home
with
chemical and organic waste.  This must be sent to the sewage works for
treatment.
Here the organic matter in sewage is biologically digested.  This process,
which relies
on bacteria, can be wrecked by antibiotics, bleach and other common household
chemicals.  Once the bacterial action has taken place the water is then
pumped out to
the nearest river.
     The cycle begins again from the moment clean water vapour rises into
the air on its
journey to become rain, the man-made pollution of the water cycle begins again.

By Bronach Mc Ateer.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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